Get Out of Your Own Way

I went for a walk with a friend the other day.  We chatted about our day to day lives and the next steps in our careers. And I told her about starting this blog.  After we parted I can’t stop thinking about how much we get in our own way.  Everyone has a big dream, goal or desire but instead of chasing it, often times we are talking ourselves out of it.  We’re telling ourselves why it won’t work, can’t work, why we shouldn’t try. 

The thoughts running through our minds all day usually aren’t very nice.  And we’re literally convincing ourselves that we can’t have the life we want.  We’re getting in our own way.

Ouch. When you really think about that- it stings. 

But here’s the good news-

If you are the one standing in the way- you can move.

You can get out of your own way. 

And you can make the choice to do that over and over again. 

Do you have a big dream? Something you want to shift or change in your own life? Something you want to accomplish but have been too afraid to start?

Here’s 3 ways to get out of your own way:

1.     Say it out loud. 

This is what my friend and I did.  We admitted OUT LOUD what we really wanted and the stories we have been telling ourselves that are holding us back.  The result? We both walked away feeling a little more confident that if we wanted to make the changes we were thinking about, we could.

Say it out loud to someone that cares about you.  This allows a safe space for you to be really honest- with yourself most importantly- AND it gives you an opportunity to move beyond the idea of something and start thinking about the practical steps of making it happen. 

2.     Be your own best friend.

Write down the story you have been telling yourself about why this dream can’t work.  THEN- picture your best friend telling you this story.  What would you say back to them?  (HINT: Probably something about how talented and capable they are and why they deserve to make their big dream come true.)

3.     Consider the other perspective

You’ve probably heard the quote, “What if I fall?  Oh but darling, what if you fly?”

Challenge yourself to think differently. 

Write down the story you’ve been telling yourself about why this dream can’t work.

THEN- consider if the opposite might in fact be true.

Here’s an example-

“I can’t accomplish this goal because it is too hard.”

THEN

“I’ve accomplished a lot of hard things in my life. When I accomplish this, I will be so proud of myself.”

Go through each and every way you are trying to talk yourself out of this and consider the opposite perspective. 

Now, go back and read the new perspective, the NEW story you wrote for yourself. How does it feel?